People Events Challenges Features Links & Resources

Sam - Matriculation Year: 2006

The Facts:

1) I have personally heard Sam described by more than one third-year female as "the fittest guy in college", so feel free to admire his photo for as long as you want.

2) Sam was made favourite in the 2006 Pubcrawl, mainly due to his impressive display of facial hair in comparison with the other competitors.

3) This term, Sam became the first mathmo in recent years to write an article for Catzeyes. As I don't know him very well otherwise, my analysis is based heavily on this.

The Analysis:

Sam initially comes across as an ordinary person, but on closer inspection appears to be much more dark and brooding, and writhing with inner torment. Spending nearly 1000 words debating the choice between a girlfriend and a cat is obvious evidence of this, most people would take but a second to make the obvious choice.

One informant told me "I heard he came to his interview in a pinstripe suit with a pocket watch". These are obvious not the actions of a normal person, perhaps in addition to his inner torment, he suffers schizophrenia, causing him to go through spells believing he is from the 19th Century.

Sam's dress sence is immensly cool. Before the pub crawl we saw him on his way to his room saying that he was going to get changed. I thought he was going to change into something more befitting of the "bad taste" theme but in fact he returned dressed even more smartly than before.

Even his worst clothes are nicer than anything I own and this picture says it all, who else could possibly pull off wearing that hat.

Overall, The Hyperbolics are proud to have Sam as a member, and predict that he will have a long and illustrious future in the organisation.

Comment on this Article